marissa explains it all

It's almost like I wrote that last post then immediately forgot it existed. I want so many things and its time to start going after them. There's only so much wanting I can do; only so much waiting with outstretched hands full of heartbeats that no one can understand but me. anguish. I have to do something about it. I want to spend more time with God but it seems as though I would rather hide from Him and not acknowledge it. I want to practice moderation and self-control to become a healthier me, but the only thing in my life losing weight is my words. I want to be a person that people love being around, but the only language I use is fowl. I want to be loved, but I never miss an opportunity to pass hate to the ones that only wish me well.

I'm so done with my hate and anger. I'm finished with not thinking before I speak. I'm through with being a hypocrite, and my double life is over. There are only so many times I can shower myself with prose and beautiful language to forget my troubles. Hang me out to dry.

Last night, I told some people to pray for my complacency in life.. (Please, remind me never to do that again). Life is only lame because I'm making it that way. I want so many things but I need to try actually achieving them.

Hold me accountable?